It's black. It's an animal. Green Eyes. Panting around my room like a lost puppy. Then as it turns and looks at me getting ready to attack me, I wake up. Crying. Shaking. Swearing that that really happened. But what was it really? A hallucination? A dream? Or was this black figure truly in my room? I fight this supposed "dream" almost every single night, but every time I try to talk to anyone about it. I get a "what the heck? are you crazy look." This causes me to shut out from the world. Lose interest in talking to anyone about my feelings. Ever. But I know this is a problem, because the only way to keep a friendship/relationship going with someone, you have to open up to them. You can't just hide for them rest of your life. But for some reason no matter how hard I really want to. My body, my brain, every single muscle in my body, fights it. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of being judged. So how exactly do I conquer my thoughts? Is it even possible? Or is that mental state of being rejected always going to live with me just because of the way I am. I don't really know. The only thing I know is that,
I want to fix me. I'm trying so hard. But I don't seem to be good enough for anyone.
I'm extremely lost and confused. Advice?
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